A Wonderful Time

Personally, I officially went on vacation yesterday. I completed my last official duty last December 22, topping off a year that was dedicated to serving the public most of my daily life. For the past seven years, from the time I wake up in the morning until I get back home at night, it was spent on official duty, even up to weekends. The only time I can take a break from the rigors of public life is during the Christmas break, which I claim for my family. During that period from Christmas Eve up to New Year’s day, I beg off from official activities. But in the past, even that deserved break was sometimes interrupted by activities or invitations that cannot be avoided.

For elected public officials, official activities are not confined to office work or official functions. It includes invitations from the constituents, ranging from the opening of a community basketball tournament to standing as principal sponsor to a wedding. Public officials are always invited to many social functions, many of which fall into what is supposed to be personal time of the official, meaning outside the official working hours and function.

For example, my official function is that of a legislator and my official working hours are during committee hearings and plenary sessions. But as a public official, I am expected by my constituents to be available for them any day of the week for any occasion. Legislators are better off than those serving in the executive, such as mayors. They are expected to be on call 24 hours a day.

So it was that I went on official vacation yesterday. I had the option to lay lazily in bed all day and just watch videos. But that’s something that I easily get tired of. I’m so used to being on the move that if I have nothing to do, I look for something to do. So on that first day of my official vacation, I was looking for something to do.

As I was reading the newspaper after breakfast, I remembered that one of the light bulbs in our bedroom needed to be replaced. Finally finding something to do, I decided to go to the hardware to buy the replacement bulb. As I was about to dress up to go out, my six year old son asked me where I was going. He always asked me that every morning and my answer was always, “I’m going to the office”.

This time, before I answered, an idea flashed in my mind. My reply to him was, “do you want to go with me?”. Without even knowing where I was going, his immediate answer was “Yes!”.

I was hoping he’d answer yes. Immediately, another idea came to me. Why don’t I bring along all my kids? It would be a boys’ day out! I have four sons, aged 17 (Carlo), 9 (Anton), 6 (Ino) and 2 (Enzo). It would be a nice opportunity to spend time with them.

I asked Carlo if he could drive for me, but he preferred to stay home. Anton was eager to go out with me. Enzo…well, Enzo is just two, so he’s always eager to go out wherever, with whoever.

I decided that it will just be me and the kids. No yaya even if the two year old was going with me. I haven’t done that for a long time. I wanted to savor this opportunity of being Ruffy Biazon, the father. When I became congressman seven years ago, I only had two sons who were 10 and 2 years old at that time. Now I had four and I rarely have an opportunity to have some alone time with them.

Instead of going to the hardware, I took them to the supermarket, where the bustling activity and the variety of goods would surely excite them. With the three young boys in tow, I entered the supermarket with the same excitement as they had. It felt good to be a father.

We went from aisle to aisle, without any plans or shopping lists. It was purely time spent together as a father enjoying his sons. I relished answering their questions such as “What’s that, papa? What is it for papa? Can I buy this, can I buy that, papa?”. While I granted some of their requests, I also taught them restraint, gently saying no to many of their wishes. It was an opportunity to teach them the concepts of spending within the budget, choosing between needs and wants, and of dealing with disappointment.

Of course, they weren’t unrewarded for just being with me. They got some of their requests, such Anton’s favorite milk and Ino’s bubble gum. Enzo biscuits which he immediately opened even before we checked out. I also taught them the concept of giving when we purchased some gift baskets filled with groceries to be given to the workers doing work in our house.

I was such a wonderful time for me. Knowing the value of documentation, I had the foresight of bringing along my camera, and we had fun taking photos in the supermarket. I knew I had to record his moment in history, because this will never happen again. Anton will be 9 , Ino will be 6 and Enzo will be 2 only once in my life. This particular instance will only happen once and never be repeated again. Yes, I’m sure that there will be other instances when I will go out with them again, but this moment on December 22, 2008, is only a fleeting moment in the timeline of my life.

I am one who believes that one should relish every moment given by God. In one of the pictures, my two year old son Enzo posed by trying to embrace my huge body with his small reach. It was an act which was not prompted, purely his own. And I am thankful that it was captured in a photo that would last until I am gray and old. That’s one reason why I have tons of photos of my kids, taken during their school presentations, birthday parties or when they’re playing at home. It’ a blessing that there’s digital photography and archiving. It’s easy to make files and back up files of digital photos.

My life as a public official will have its end. My term will end, or I will not get elected, or I will simply quit. But as a father and a husband, my role and duty will last until I breathe my last breath.

So more than being a great public official, I must first be a good family man. There’s a passage which says, “For if a man does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?” This passage, taken from the book of 1 Timothy which was a letter from the Apostle Paul was meant as a guide on how to lead the church. But it may also be applicable in how to lead the country. For indeed, how can one manage the country if one does not know how to manage his own family?

It is a great challenge to be able to say that one has succeeded in managing his family. It is so because the only time you can evaluate if you have indeed successfully managed you family is when you are on your deathbed.

But for me, it is a very good standard to live by, because everyday, I am compelled to exert effort in managing my family successfully, so that when the time comes for my performance to be evaluated, I will have done my best.

For public officials, the same is applicable. The difference is that a public official does not have to wait for the end of his lifetime in order for his performance to be evaluated. A public official’s term has its end and there is retirement.

As I enjoy the holidays and set aside official concerns, I focus on my family and savor the moments spent with them. These moments will only happen once. As a famous poem (I don’t know who the author was) says :

I expect to pass through this world but once;

any good thing therefore that I can do,

or any kindness that I can show to any fellow-creature,

let me do it now;

let me not defer or neglect it,

for I shall not pass this way again.

Thanksgiving

I was pleasantly surprised by the comments elicited by the Facebook status I entered yesterday. The comments compelled me to relate the reason behind what I noted in my FB status which said “Ruffy is sad…people are less appreciative nowadays.”

Perhaps what caught people’s attentions is that in the midst of what is supposed to be a season of holiday cheer, someone is in a state of sadness. When I did that entry, I was indeed in that state, although the quick responses of my FB friends also quickly redeemed me from such emotional sandtrap. Spending some time with my family, who always indulge me with their sincere appreciation of who I am and the things I do, was also uplifting and blew away whatever sadness I had in my heart.

What prompted me to make that FB entry was the reaction of some people who received Christmas giveaways from me. Particularly, some of my political leaders whom I traditionally give gifts every Christmas since I assumed office in 2001.

Ever since I became a politician, the gifts I give during Christmas are divided into two—personal and political. Personal of course includes family and friends that I have had even before I became a public official. Political include those who are colleagues, associates, personalities, and individuals who I met, work and relate with in line with my political career. Of course, it goes without saying that many of those in the political ledger have transitioned to the personal.

With so many people to give gifts to, it is no wonder that often, I am able to get gifts for my family only in the last minute, after I have ensured that all other people in my life—friends and political relations—already have something to receive from me for Christmas.

(Another Facebook status of mine about that situation was picked up by a TV talk show, Strictly Politics and used as a topic—“Politician’s Christmas”. Thanks, Ellen and Pia!)

In my political Christmas gift-giving, I always give priority to my political leaders, more than 600 of them, because I value the help they give me in the work I do. While one of their major functions is to help me get the votes every election, they are also the conduits of the social services that I extend to my constituents. They serve as my extensions in the communities, enabling me to deliver services to and get feedback from the grassroots.

Actually, it can be said that they are an unofficial part of the delivery system of government service, on a voluntary basis. In a gesture of appreciation for the help they give all throughout the year, I include them in my priority gift list, meaning they can never be scratched off, in case circumstances compel me to shorten my list.

And so it is that year in and year out, these political leaders of mine receive Christmas gifts from me. However, due to the financial crunch that everyone is feeling nowadays, this year’s Christmas gifts to my leaders was a little bit of a downgrade compared to last year’s. I felt that it was a better option than to cut them off entirely.

As the gifts were distributed, my staff reported the feedback from some of my leaders. Others directly sent their feedback to me and my wife through text messages. Without going into the painful details, instead of sending us a word of thanks, they sent us criticisms of the gifts we gave. My first reaction was to be ashamed of myself, carried away by their comments. Shame turned to sadness, especially when I remembered that I have not even bought gifts for my own kids. Sadness because after giving priority to them and making special preparations to ensure they receive something this Christmas even ahead of my own family, it seems they focused more on what they wanted to have rather than the spirit of Christmas, which is exchanging goodwill towards fellowmen.

In my Christmas messages in all the speaking engagements I had this season, I always put emphasis on the message of faith, hope and love as the center of the celebration of Christmas. But it seems that in the turbulence of the times and perhaps the experience of disappointment, strife and difficulties, people have turned from the message of “Goodwill Towards All” to the mindset of “What’s In It For Me?”.

There are many sayings, proverbs and quotes that are often repeated during Christmas. One very popular saying is that “it is better to give than to receive”. It is actually a paraphrase of a Bible verse, found in the Book of Acts (Acts 20:35). It is already a Christmas cliché, but I wonder…during these times, do people actually believe and live according to this?

But I think one verse that is rarely mentioned in relation to this season is 1 Thessalonians 5:18 which says, “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus”. In encouraging people that it is better to give, shouldn’t they also be enlightened to give thanks?

And in giving thanks, it should be in everything, big or small. To those whose faith in God are beyond doubt, they are in thanksgiving even in the face of difficulties and challenges. What more if you receive something given in goodwill?

In my contemplation of these matters, I realized that as a nation, thanksgiving seems to be overshadowed by the mindset that we deserve the things we receive and others are obligated to give, therefore, thanksgiving is an option. It struck me as a matter of admiration and even envy that in the United States, they actually have a holiday for Thanksgiving. Perhaps that’s why if you listen to Americans, they easily convey thanksgiving and in many different ways---- “Thank you”, “I appreciate it”, “much obliged”.

Some may say that in giving, we should not expect anything in return, even gratitude. Some may even say that in my particular case, I shouldn’t wait for thanks because after all, I’m a public official and it’s my obligation to my constituents to give. Perhaps that is correct and I’m just expecting too much. Actually, I wasn’t expecting a verbalized expression of appreciation. But what I wasn’t expecting was a word of criticism on something that was given from the heart, as a token of my appreciation for the recipient.

Well, Christmas goes on. My wife and children are waiting for their gifts but their appreciation of me is there even if I come home empty-handed. After all, for us, it is being together as a family that matters. And for that, I endlessly thank and praise God for giving them to me.