Get the Balance Right

Last week, my wife and I agreed to take the kids out of town for a vacation before they go back to school because for them, summer was spent just in the house while their parents were out campaigning. It was pretty much a boring summer for them, and there wasn’t much quality time between us.

In fact, over the last nine years, I must admit that work pretty much came in the way of being a father and husband, although I did manage to squeeze in some quality time every now and then. But that’s just it...it shouldn’t be just a matter of “squeezing in” family time. There should be a time for work responsibilities and time for family responsibilities.

We decided to go to Albay, to a resort in Misibis Bay. The place is relatively new, they just opened last year. I never even knew there was such a resort. My wife and I are a curious pair, always wanting to try something new instead of repeating an experience over and over again and falling into a routine. I guess that’s one of the secrets of our staying together for twenty years now, even though we started out married life at quite a young age.

Along with us came my sister in law and her family, my brother in law and two of their cousins. We scheduled our departure for June 9, because I wanted to attend the proclamation of Sen. Noynoy Aquino. At that time, the end of the canvassing was estimated to be on June 8. But the canvassing was extended one more day so the proclamation was rescheduled to June 9. My dad wanted me to attend, suggesting that I reschedule our trip. Pia Hontiveros, a friend from the ANC (ABS-CBN News Channel) said that I shouldn’t miss this historic event.

Indeed, I did want to attend Noynoy’s proclamation. It was really a historic event and so far, in my three terms of being a congressman, there have been many historic events that I was part of, events that someday I’m going to tell my grand children how their grandpa was right there as those events were happening. I wanted this one to be one of those stories. And I also wanted to be there to take photographs of the event.

But I already made a promise to my family that we will leave on that day. And God knows how many times in the past nine years that I set aside a commitment to my family just to be able to be at an event as history unfolds or to do an important job in line of duty. Perhaps to me those events are something to forever remember as a chapter in our country’s history, but my family’s disappointment will be something that will haunt me until the day I die. I don’t want that.

And so I would miss the proclamation at Batasang Pambansa. I would get on a plane with my family and spend precious moments with them that will last a lifetime of memories, much more valuable than any historical event in the country.

The plane ride to Legaspi City took about just an hour, although for me, it was an hour spent well. There is nothing compared to having your children depend their life on you. One of my sons, afraid of flying because of watching too much National Geographic Channel’s Air Crash Investigation, clung to my arms the whole flight, asking me to pray before we took off. It’s such a good feeling to have your children rely on you, although you will also have to train them to be self-sufficient and survive on their own. You just have to get the balance right.

The approach to Legaspi City airport was spectacular, with the majestic Mayon dominating the horizon. As we descended to land, the children were treated to seeing the volcano with a perfect cone spewing smoke. It was a clear day, and the clouds had not yet formed on top of the Mayon and she showed us her full glory.

]Since we were a big group, we were picked up by the hotel’s coaster and we traveled for another hour to get to Misibis Bay. Along the way, the kids were treated to the beautiful scenery of Albay’s countryside. It was an educational trip for them, their questions about what they see around them answered right then and there.
One nice experience for them was crossing a wide channel to get to the island of Cagraray where Misibis Bay is. There was no bridge but there was a roll-on/roll-off barge. The coaster was driven onto the barge’s platform and when it got to the other side, it just drove off onto the road. The kids were excited about the experience. My son, used to seeing the LCT’s and LCM’s in his video game, asked me if this RO/RO barge was the same as those used in World War II.

Not long after, we arrived at the resort, greeted by several dancers dancing to what sounded like tribal music. Welcome drinks soothed our parched throats and the well done landscaping and architecture already beckoned us to romp and play.

After checking in to our rooms and settling down, the kids were more than eager to go out and swim in the pool. The cold rooms and television were unsuccessful in enticing them to stay indoors. They completely ignored those and preferred the warm water of the swimming pool under the heat of the sun. I’m glad though, because back home, they’re indoors most of the time. There should be time for them to stay indoors and time to go outdoors. You must get the balance right.

I joined my kids in the pool, playing with them as a father should. I particularly wanted to stay with my youngest son, who at three years old, spent his entire life with a father who had to give his time to his constituents. This was an opportunity for some bonding time.

As I played with the kids in the pool, all the worries and cares of this world were quickly set aside. For a while, I left all troubles behind and life became simple again. Whether it was in this resort or in another place, it doesn’t matter as long as you are with your family enjoying the company, life becomes wonderful. For a while I became not just a father but a kid as well.

In the pool, there were inflatables for the children to play with. There was a scaled down version of a banana boat, that favorite ride of beach goers. But it was a bit too large for the kids, and they had difficulty getting on it. I decided to use it, to amuse the kids. But the funny thing is, once I get on top of it, I had difficulty staying on it.

Somehow, it was difficult for me to balance because of my weight which makes it top-heavy once I’m riding it. So I kept on falling over and over again, which made the kids laugh. Oh well, that makes their day, so I gladly got on and fell off over and over again.

Of course, I really tried to stay on it for my personal satisfaction but I really never was able to. I was always off-balance. For you to stay on top of it, you must get the balance right.

Later in the day, we went to the beach where there was an on-the-water playground for the kids and watersports for the adults. Now was the time for grown up activities. We rode Hobie Cats, small sailing catamarans that sliced through the waters with swiftness and speed that matched even motorized bancas. It had a capacity of four people, and rode really close to the water. We took off with such speed that in a few minutes we were already in the middle of Misibis Bay in deep blue water.

It was my first time on a wind-powered vessel, and it was a great experience. I had always wondered how people could write a song about sailing, but riding the Hobie Cat, I could really related to Christopher Cross’ song “Sailing”. In fact, I almost immediately sang the song in my head as we were cruising through the waters of Misibis bay, with no sound except the splashing of the waves, flapping of the sails, and the whistle of the wind. Initially, there was some kind of weird feeling about the absence of noise from an engine while we were speeding through the choppy waters. But later on, it became a peaceful experience to be out there in the vast expanse of water which you can easily touch while the breath of God filled the sail to give you speed.

Before one gets used to it, the Hobie Cat is a bit awkward to ride because it could tip over if the weight was not easily distributed and the wind blows the sail hard. But after a while, you get the hang of it and it becomes a such a wonderful experience. You just have to get the balance right.

When we got back to shore, other activities awaited us. I just had to try wind surfing. I’ve seen others do it before and I thought to myself, if they can do it, why can’t I? The instructor gave me the pointers on how to do it and I patiently waited for the lecture to finish. Deep inside I kept saying, “Alright, alright, enough with the talk, let’s go into action!”.

But it turns out that it’s not that easy to do. Just to get on the board and balance was tough enough, add to that the act of pulling the mast upright and catching the wind to make yourself move on the water. I fell down so many times it was starting to look like lessons on how to fall on water instead of how to wind surf.

As I fell into the water and got up to re-mount the board, I kept on scraping my knees on the sand and on the board itself. It wasn’t long before it was beginning to hurt due to the exposed raw skin. But I kept on doing it, because I was determined to see myself move across the water and claim to have been able to wind surf.

After almost an hour of trying, I was able to finally do it. Although the speed was not impressive, I was able to go a distance and turn to go the opposite direction. Yes! I can finally claim to have wind surfed. All I needed was to get the balance right.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day. That was our motto during our vacation. The following day was another opportunity to experience what life has to offer in terms of excitement. We started it with scuba diving, which was a much awaited activity.

]We were brought out into the bay about a kilometer off-shore to dive. A couple of us were certified divers, some had already done introductory dives (such as myself) while others were first timers. This was going to be an introductory dive, meaning we will just dive not more than twenty feet. Or at least that was the idea.

The most basic thing to remember in this kind of dive is never to hold your breath. Just breathe regularly, as you would do on land. Next is to equalize, which means to relieve the pressure on your ears as you go deeper. It is done by pressing your nostrils closed while slightly blowing air into them. It’s pretty much like blowing your nose if you have colds but in this case, you don’t let the air out. You will then feel the pressure in your ears being relieved.

You must be conscious about equalizing because if you don’t it could cause injury to your ear drums or cause discomfort. You just need to get the balance of pressure right so that you will enjoy the experience.

And enjoy the experience we did. I spent a lot of time scanning the ocean floor and admiring the underwater sea life, although it didn’t have as much color, vibrance, variety and quantity as other areas I’ve been too. I was told that dynamite and cyanide fishing in these areas were stopped only recently, so marine life had yet to fully recover. So sad, really.

Lunch was served on the beach, set up by the resort management for the guests. After a hearty meal, it was back to the watersports. That day, however, aside from the Hobie Cats, kayaks and windsurfing, a jet ski and banana boat were available.

Of course, the jet ski was irresistible. The speed, the wind and sea spray in your face and the rush of momentary flight as you cut across the waves is an intense experience that gives you and adrenaline high. It didn’t take long before my seven year old son saw the thrill and wanted a part in the action.

So it was that he rode tandem with me, and we cruised a distance from the shore. It was his first time to ride a jet ski and he asked if it was difficult to handle. I told him it was quite easy, not so much different from riding a bike. I told him that you just need to get the balance right.

And soon enough, he was enjoying it and asked for more speed. The longer we rode the jet ski, the more he wanted to go faster. He particularly liked the part where the jet ski jumps as it hit the waves. But for me, what I enjoyed more than the ride itself was my son holding on to me tightly in an embrace that I hoped would last forever.

We would not let the day pass without riding the banana boat. Together with my in-laws and their cousins, we got on the five-seater banana boat, hungry for the excitement. We were towed by a twin-engined speed boat which promised a wild ride.

As we were towed out to sea, the waves made the banana boat jump up and down along the waves, making it difficult to stay on top. I pulled myself to a low profile, trying to keep my center of gravity low. As the speed increased, the excitement we felt increased as well, highlighted by my sister-in-law’s screams which was a mixture of delight and fear.

We slowed down as the speedboat slowed to do a turn. Then a funny thing happened. As we rounded what was actually a slow and safe turn, we got off balanced and we all fell into the water in what felt like slow motion. It was a ridiculous way to fall off the banana boat, during a slow turn. Simply because we didn’t get the balance right.

After getting back on the banana boat, we got ready for our second run. This time, we tried to go for the thrill of speed. The speed boat gradually picked speed, creating a larger wake behind it. This made our banana boat buck wildly, very much like a wild stallion being broken in a rodeo. The five of us were bouncing up and down on the inflatable banana boat which threatened to kick us off into the water.

It didn’t take long until we all completely lost hold of the banana boat and fell into the water. But this time, it wasn’t a harmless and ridiculous fall. As I hit the water, I hit an oncoming wave, and with the speed we were going and the angle that I fell, it felt like slamming onto a concrete floor.

I got the wind knocked out of me and my left chest felt like it was caved in. There was pain in and around my ribs and for a while, I couldn’t talk. After several seconds, I realized we were all quiet unlike the first fall when we were all laughing and talking. This time, it seemed we were all stunned by the impact of the fall. My sister in law had the same experience as me and we both had chest pain.

We did another round but in a more cautious pace. Were then brought back to shore where we still continued with other activities. In fact, later in the day, we rode All-Terrain Vehicles (ATV) on rugged trails up and down mountainous terrain. It seemed that no injury could stop us from having fun.

We had many other activities during this trip, which was only a three day break, including the time to travel to and from home. We would have wanted to stay longer what with all the fun we were experiencing, not to mention the quality time of playing together as a family.

But it was time to go back to the business of living life, which is actually a balance between work and play, spending and saving, resting and moving, and time to be alone and time with others. There is a purpose for us not to be excessive in one or lacking in the other. It makes us well-rounded and, of course, well-balanced.

As Depeche Mode said their song, we just need to get the balance right.