A Son's Request

I just read a heart-wrenching story about one of the victims of the heinous RCBC robbery-murder. The story was published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer and is one that should provoke parents, particularly fathers, to think about how they fulfill their responsibilities to their children.

The story is also online, http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/regions/view/20080529-139403/Sons-request-could-have-saved-bank-managers-life. The title, "Son's request could have saved bank manager's life", says it all.

Many times I have been faced with the same situation. Having four sons aged 17, 8, 5 and 1 1/2, it is not unusual for the first three to ask me to stay home or do something for them, in direct conflict with my responsibilities at work. I must admit that most of the time, I put my work ahead of my sons, telling myself that with my job as an elected official, I owe it to the People to prioritize them ahead of my family. It is said that such a sacrifice is part of being a public official.

There was a time when I brought work home, finishing paperwork at home so that I could do my constituency work during the day. It translated into diminished time with my kids, even though I was already at home. I would brush them aside or ask them not to bother me while I finished my paperwork. By the time I finished, they were already asleep.

I am thankful that with the preachings of our pastors and the lessons I learned from parenting seminars in our church, I realized that such a practice will have far-reaching effects on my sons. I made a decision then that I should stop bringing work home, because work belongs in the office, and the home belongs to the family.

Many people nowadays are career-driven, so much so that the family is relegated to the back seat, to be attended to only when it's convenient and "when there's time." But that shouldn't be the norm. We need to be reminded that first, we can always make time for things we want to do. THere will be no time for the family if you don't make time for them. Second, we should keep in mind that no one, in their death bed, ever said "I wish I spent more time in the office."

In fact, when someone is on the brink of death, family members are called in, even if they are halfway around the world. Some people's burials are even delayed until all family members come home to say their "last goodbyes". But come to think of it, it really is pointless to say goodbye to someone who will not hear your goodbye.

The lesson is not to reserve your time for the last goodbye but to savour every moment you can say hello. That way, there wouldn't even be a need to have a final, empty goodbye, but there will be all the reason to remember the precious times of togetherness.

I love my sons and I love my wife. Each day I wake up is an opporunity for me to make them feel my love for them and for them to love me back. But while I have stopped bringing work home, I am still guilty of sometimes brushing my loved ones aside when they ask for my time in favor of work. The story of the bank manager's son's request is a reminder that I should grab that golden opportunity God gives me everyday.

The Bucket List

Im on a trip again, back to the United States. Just as we did last month, we're lobbying for the veterans again, this time for the passage of the Veterans' bill in the U.S. House of Representatives. Last month, the battleground was the U.S. Senate, where the bill was eventually passed with a vote of 96-1. We're hoping to succeed again, so that this bill will finally become a law, a fulfillment of a 62 year old dream of the Filipino veterans.

Actually, I just arrived from another trip two days ago, a conference on Family Planning in Bali, Indonesia where I gave a speech as part of the panel of discussants during one of the plenary sessions of the conference. Trina was with me to keep me company and make sure my nights were not cold (wink!).

But on this trip, she decided to stay home, since she misses the kids badly. I miss them too. I've been on back to back trips since April, so much so that I haven't stayed home for more than 9 days straight in the past month and a half. Summer will go by without me really enjoying the time the kids are home on vacation. Of course, we were able to squeeze in a trip to Bohol and Subic but I think it's not enough. For now duty calls, so I would just have to make up for it.

But what if there's no chance to make up for it? It's a thought provoking proposition, which came to my mind after watching a movie.

I just finished watching a movie they played on the plane (thank goodness for in-flight entertainment, it makes these long flights more bearable!). The movie is entitled “The Bucket List”, a movie that I've long wanted to watch ever since I first heard about it, specially because it stars two of my most favorite actors---Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. And directed by one of my favorite directors, Rob Reiner.

I never was able to watch its previews, but I was able to read a synopsis some time back. So I never had an idea how the movie would turn out. For me, as long as a movie had Jack Nicholson or Morgan Freeman in it, and throw in Rob Reiner to call the shots, it had to be good. In this case, they were all in it, so I assumed it would be a movie that deserved to be in my collection.

I wasn't wrong. Once in a while a movie comes along which moves me. This one did. Had to hide the moist eyes from the flight attendants who were doing their best to make us passengers comfortable.

I thought it was a comedy, which would have been a real treat. The Bucket List refers to a list that one would do before one “kicks the bucket” (things to do before you die, to put it bluntly). I found it not only a good topic for a movie, but a cool thing to have as well. In fact, I had already started to do my bucket list weeks ago, adding to the list everytime an idea comes to mind.

But as I watched the movie, the message to me was not just a list of things to do while I'm living, such as scuba dive in the Great Barrier reef or go on a photo safari in every town in the Philippines, but also of things that I wanted to achieve in life.

There's a scene in the movie when Morgan Freeman's character, Carter, was telling Jack Nicholson's character, Edward, about an old Egyptian belief. He said that the ancient Egyptians believed that when you die, you come to a gate in Heaven where you are asked two things before you are allowed to get in. Whether you are allowed to enter will depend on the answer you give.

He said the first question is “Have you found joy in your life?”. And the next question was “Has your life given joy to others?”

I think many people will answer yes to the first question. Although I would also say that deep inside, many people may also be in denial with regard to having found joy in life. It is not uncommon for people to confuse being momentarily happy with having joy in life.

If you suddenly won a million dollars in the lottery, you would definitely be happy. But for how long? A year? A month? A week? A day? Until the money runs out? I am pretty sure there are many people out there who have all the wealth they would ever need but they still haven't found joy in life.

What's happiness of million dollars you win in a day compared to the joy of seeing your child speak for the first time? What's the happiness of having the latest luxury vehicle compared to the joy of seeing your son graduate from college? What's having a fat bank account compared to having your grandchildren visit you every weekend during your old age?

What's the happiness of having power over the lives of other people compared to the joy of your family seeking your wisdom to solve their own challenges? What is joy in YOUR life?

The second question is bit more difficult to answer. Edward was initially at a loss for words in answering that one. Finally he said that it depends on how other people perceive the things that you do for them. Well, he's also correct on that one. You may think that you're giving joy to others, but the one on the receiving end may not recognize it.

But does it matter whether the one you're giving joy to is missing the point? It shouldn't. Because what should matter is that you are sincere and pure in trying to give joy to others. Ultimately, the joy of helping another person or simply making their life more colorful and enjoyable is the gift unto yourself. In the end, you will experience the joy of your life by giving joy to others. IN fact, one of the things that made it to Carter's bucket list was “to be able to help a total stranger”.

I started my bucket list weeks ago. It included so many adventurous things that they could qualify as episodes in National Geographic, Discovery Channel, AXN, Amazing Race, and many others. But after watching the Jack Nicholson-Morgan Freeman movie, I'll do more than just an adventure bucket list. I'll do a Life Bucket List.

After all, the bucket list shouldn't be a List of Things To Do Before You Die. It should be a List of Things To Do Because I'm Alive.

IN THE LOOMING CABINET REVAMP, THE PRESIDENT SHOULD CONSIDER MAINTAINING THE NONONG CRUZ/GIBO TEODORO FORMULA FOR THE DEPARTMENT OF NATIONAL DEFENSE

The President's confirmation of a looming cabinet revamp will give her the opportunity to refresh and revitalize her governance. Change is always good, provided that good decisions are made.

Although the President has not categorically identified which agencies will be revamped, talks are rife about certain agencies which will undergo leadership change. One of those being touted for a change in leadership is the Department of National Defense.

With particular interest in defense establishment being the Vice Chairman of the House Committee on National Defense, I am urging the President to consider maintaining the Nonong Cruz/Gibo Teodoro formula in the leadership of the Department of Defense.

Both gentlemen have shown that a civilian Secretary of National Defense is an acceptable and effective formula for leadership of the country's defense establishment. Although an SND with military background has its advantages, the performance of former Sec. Cruz and present Sec. Teodoro has shown that a true-blue civilian with the appropriate qualities and qualifications is not only effective but also preferred.

The two gentlemen have proven that what the defense establishment needs is not a military strategist and tactician nor a commanding presence and bravado but a leader with management skills, balanced and adjustable personality, independent thought and most of all, political savvy. Importantly, the Secretary of National Defense must also be insulated from the seniority and “mistah” system that is prevailing within the military, enabling him or her, to make objective decisions as secretary. It also prevents the possibility of an SND micromanaging the organization and interfering in the job or even bypassing the AFP Chief of Staff.

The post of Secretary of National Defense is not military in nature but more of policy and management. Therefore, it is ideal that the SND knows how to relate to a wide spectrum of personalities, especially policy makers, stakeholders in the defense and security sector and politicians. While occupying such a powerful post, an SND must also know how to adjust to different levels of the different sectors he or she will be dealing with, unlike in the military establishment where rank and seniority is an established and strictly observed system.

Under these principles, I filed House Bill No. 1120 which proposes to prohibit a person from being appointed as Secretary of the Department of National Defense within three years after relief from active duty as a commissioned officer of a regular component of the Armed Forces of the Philippines.

This also prevents officers in the active service, especially those in the top levels of leadership, from being politicized with the prospect of being appointed as SND after retirement. Active officers should concentrate on their jobs and remain professional until they retire from the service. The possibility of being given an appointed position such as SND is too much a prize to resist being politicized even while in active service.

Land of Plenty, So Much Waste

We're about to end our short visit to what some call the Land of Milk and Honey, where dreams of prosperity have a chance of being fulfilled with the abundance of opportunities. In the world's most powerful country, one can experience bounty to the heart's desire.

It seems that everything is super-sized in America, from the very land that they live in to the chips that they buy in the grocery. One time I was buying supplies in the supermarket and was looking for nachos for our snacks in the hotel room, and was looking for small bags of chips that would be just right for Trina and I. But all that was available were bags of chips that could feed a bunch of college kids on a drinking spree. They didn't have the tingi-tingi pouches that are so common back home.

Even the softdrinks (or soda, as it is known in the U.S.) are all sold either in bulk or in big containers. I had no choice but to get the 6-pack, although I foresaw that we would just have to consume quantities beyond our ideal volume, therefore adding unnecessary sugar in our system.

The Americans invented super size savings and the warehouse club stores. It seems that the prosperity of this country has led people to indulge in excess, with the seeming endless supply of goods and produce within their affordability.

IN the Philippines, we have done the opposite, specializing in the tingi and super-small-size. From toothpaste and shampoo to cigarettes, retailing has adapted to the Filipino's buying capacity. Isang kahig, isang tuka, the saying goes. You can't afford to buy a whole pack of cigarettes? Then buy per stick. You can't afford a liter-size of shampoo? Then buy the sachet. That's the Filipino way of life.

So as I was browsing through the shelves of the grocery, I couldn't help but think about how my countrymen are living a marginal life back home. A sense of guilt nagged at me.

I also couldn't help but feel a little envy at the Americans, who seem to be in ignorant bliss to the pangs of the third world countries. But then again, this state of plenty has also led to a rising percentage of Americans being supersized. Diabetes and heart disease are common, attributed to increasing obesity among them.

As I go to the check out counter to pay for my purchases, I noticed that the cashier placed the items purchased by the customers in plastic bags. Not much different from the Philippines, even during this time of environmental awareness, except that back home, the supermarket baggers packed the items in the plastic bags until the bags almost tear, just so that the customer will be given the least number of plastic bags as they could possibly give, in an effort to cut costs.

Here in the U.S., the supermarket clerks seem to not have a care in the world as to how many bags the customer is given, sometimes even placing only one item in a bag. I wondered if this practice affected the balance sheet of the supermarket, and added to the overhead costs of the business. Worse than that, I wondered how much of this non-biodegradable plastic will pollute the Earth. Or, I'm hoping, will be recycled. I remember the last time I went to the U.S. three years ago that I was asked by the supermarket clerk whether I wanted paper bags or plastic bags, in an obvious effort to give the customer a chance to be environmentally friendly. But now they don't. I wonder why...

Of course, being appreciative of the culinary arts, Trina and I tried different restaurants and fast food outlets. The quality of the food varied, but there is one constant......you got it----super size orders. Being used to the Philippines where one order is almost just enough for one person, we repeated the mistake of ordering separately. And one hundred percent of the time, we got overwhelmed by the size of the servings.

With guilty consciences, we couldn't finish the serving given to us. We resort to doggie-bags but often, we end up not being able to eat the left overs because there's no microwave in our hotel room. In the end, the food gets thrown in the waste.

In the fast food courts and restaurants, it is not uncommon to see lots of leftovers that are sufficient to feed a family of six. Two families even. Such a shame. Especially when I know that back home people are scrounging for the next meal.

But now there's a bit of reality catching up with the Land of Plenty. Just this morning I heard in the news that two of the top warehouse club stores are rationing rice. Costco and Sam's Club are limiting the amount of rice each customer can buy. Not a new story to the Filipinos. But I'm pretty sure to the Americans, it is something that is almost unimaginable. Indeed, how can this come to be?

But the rice crisis is global. Prices are rising not just in the Philippines but around the world as well. In the United States, the price of rice has increased 70% this year. Well, various explanations have been given, some of which attribute the rice crisis to increased demand in the “billion-people-Club” --- China and India----and others say it is the sudden shift from food crops to energy crops brought about by the trend of biofuels.

Whatever it may be, it sure is a cause of concern. Once again, as I prepare to go back to my motherland and back to my duties, I just hope that those of us who can do something to make the lives of our countrymen better will not fail the people's expectations and hopes. After all, our country may not be a Land of Plenty, but the people should not be deprived of hope.

I Ate Filipinos...I I love them!

Yup, that's correct...I ate Filipinos.

No, I haven't turned cannibal. I'm referring to the biscuits sold in Spain which bear our national identity. I've long heard about these biscuits but this is the first time I've seen and tasted it first hand. When I went to the supermarket yesterday, I immediately looked for it. I bought a sample of each of the four flavors.

They're good! I'm wondering why no one has imported these in the Philippines. It bears the brand ARTIACH although I also see KRAFT FOODS written on the packaging. They even have a website ...not surprisingly, the address is www.filipinos.com.

I found it amusing to see biscuits called Filipinos. Is it perhaps a favor returned for the Spanish bread sold in bakeries in the Philippines? Although we don't call those sugar-sprinkled, buttered bread Spanish or Spaniards and I'm not really sure if those originated in Spain. How about the pan americano? Is there any food in the Philippines named after a particular nation?

Those who are more nationalistically sensitive may feel offended. Others may find nothing wrong at all. But there is a question that comes to my mind...who has the right of ownership over the name? 

As I look at the packaging, the product name Filipinos has that symbol which identifies it as a registered trademark, meaning the company making the product has the right to use the name. The name has become their intellectual property. But what about the first use principle? We were undeniably the first ones to use it. 

Can we sue them or can they sue us? What legal implication does this have? Any Intellectual Property Rights lawyers out there who can answer?

Anyway, as I leave that question for us to ponder, I will sit back and enjoy my Filipinos. Yum!